Gratitude

Today was a day like many others.  After a few hours of painting, I was forced to stop due to pain and fatigue caused by Lyme’s Disease and a co-infection called Bartonella.  But today I choose to reflect on how blessed I am to be completely passionate about being creative.  In fact, a year ago my brain was in such a fog some days that it could hardly process just getting through the day, let alone an art project.  If I didn’t have such a burning drive to create, then I am not sure what mental state I would be in.  I am reluctant to leave my house as it has been embedded into my psyche that going out and interacting with humans will tire me out and cause pain.

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But I actually love being home and listening to podcasts and talk shows and learning about the world around me.  I am so grateful for social media because I can interact with other creatives, be inspired and sell my paintings and wall hangings without having to leave my home.  I consider it a miracle that I still feel charged every morning to go into my studio and paint.  I feel blessed that despite the tremor in my hands, I can still hold a paint brush.  I feel gratitude that my brain is able to create goals and think about the “big ideas” in life.  I feel such freedom to spend a few hours a day doing exactly what I have always dreamed of doing.

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A year ago, my life was very different. I was like the walking dead.  I had just enough energy to make meals, spend time with my children and lie in bed.  I am so looking forward to a pain free life and a life where I don’t dread a day of being out and just doing simple errands.  I look forward to being able to do something as simple as writing a blog post in the evening without such intense pain that forces me to end this post.  But until that day, today was good day because I chose gratitude.

 

 

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